I requested fruit for an hour and here's what I go

  • Sydney: I could sit here and talk about fruits for like an hour
  • Ruth:
  • Go
  • Do it
  • Stop at 8;30
  • Sydney:
  • I mean not by myself
  • Ruth Hunger:
  • I need this
  • Sydney:
  • BRUH
  • Ruth:
  • Just say stuff about fruit for an hour straight
  • Please
  • Sydney:
  • fine i'll try but I'll take breaks in the middle
  • but at least i'll be able to say a lot of shit about fruits
  • apples are nice
  • I really like apples
  • like it's cool to bite into a fucking apple and just hear the crunch but also know that you're in for a lot of flavor
  • like good, fruit flavor, and it's also soft
  • it's not a kind of dry cookie crunch that'll leave you thirsty afterwards
  • cause it's like apples
  • but I can't eat bruises on my friuts, which is weird
  • cause I know the bruises don't mean anything but still
  • like
  • bruises
  • on fruits
  • I always eat around them
  • even when I know how the bruise got there or that nothing's wrong with it or that it's perfectly clean
  • and you can always tell when the apples are bruised because it's right there in your face among the redness or shinyness of the rest of it
  • brown, darker
  • idk
  • on pears bruises aren't such a big deal
  • cause the fruit is already soft
  • plus the discoloration isn't as bad
  • but it's hard to go from 100% crisp apple to super sweet mush of a bruised apple
  • idk if ya feel me or not but it's true
  • but seriously pears are my second favorite fruit, second only to mangoes
  • and really mangoes shouldn't even be on the list because they're so damn much work to even try to eat
  • but anyway pears are such a mess, that's why they're second
  • especially when they're juiciy
  • it gets all over your hands & shit, then you have to spend time cleaning all of it the fuck up
  • which annoys me, and which is why they're second on the list
  • but other than that
  • I love how there are little like
  • hard parts of a pear
  • idk how to describe them other than likke they feel like mini seeds within the fruit
  • I mean ik they're not, but they feel good between my teeth
  • so I always put extra effort into crunching on them
  • but I think pears are the sweetest of all of the fruits
  • or at least the best tasting
  • the hardest part of getting a pear is actually getting a good pear because like 70% of them are small or brown, and those are no good
  • and the others are super hard, which probably just means they're not ripe and not ready to be eaten yet anyway
  • which is a thing I hate about fruits but i'll get to that in a second
  • but anyway either they're super hard and don't taste very good or they're super soft and taste like heaven in a box
  • or in fruit form
  • but real shit when you find that pear that
  • is like
  • a perfect mix of hard and soft
  • like hard enough that when you squeeze it in your hands it doesn't just squish up and fall apart in your hands
  • but soft enough that when you bite into it it doesn't break your jaw
  • those pears are the best pears to get and I look for them all the time
  • also pears are just a nice color
  • like I'm always on the lookout for those pears that are that perfect shade of green with those tiny little brown spots
  • that's a healthy pear and I love it
  • I mean I can't really speak for the prices of these fruits cause I've never bought one on my own
  • my mom usually buys my fruits for me
  • like she love to buy me kiwis
  • or is it kiwi
  • but she likes to buy it while it's still covered in its skin and weird fruit fur thing
  • I dunno why it grows actual hair, I don't know how that protects it from its environment or helps it help the tree reproduce but I love them anyway
  • they taste good
  • if they even grow on trees
  • but the best part of the kiwi is the part right around the white bit in the center
  • that part is not only the sweetest but has the nicest texture out of everything in the fruit
  • I hate when kiwis or kiwi (?) are too squishy though
  • I kinda hate every squishy fruit though, which is pretty good cause at least i'm consistent with fruits that I don't like
  • but when kiwi are too squishy it usually means that they're too watery
  • and that means that the sweetness of the fruit is lost and only the bitter part remains
  • aka it tastes like shit
  • but that's okay because i'll eat it anyway cause I love kiwi, and even if the rest of the fruit tastes bad, the middle thing around the white part will still taste good
  • I can always count on that in kiwi
  • one thing I don't like though are the seeds
  • like they'd be cool if the seeds weren't so damn sour
  • I mean they're still cool even with the seeds being the way they are and i'll never give up on kiwi
  • but seriously those seeds have me wondering what fruit I just bit into all the time
  • it's also just pretty to look at in the inside
  • like i'm not saying the outside because seriously they are kind of ugly until you cut into it
  • like ugli fruit
  • but ugli fruit might not actually be ugly I've never seen one
  • so I won't judge the fruit my its name
  • but anyway back to kiwi
  • sometimes they have cool patters & such like weird little stars on the inside, like people's pupils except inside a fruit
  • especially when it has white streaks in the design sort of like a star, then sometimes I feel bad eating what nature has created
  • speaking of feeling bad eating what nature has created
  • oranges????
  • and lemons????
  • already come in little evenly sized pieces for you to eat????
  • what the hell???
  • how did mother nature just know that we'd need to go sizes for them
  • like "to-go" sizes. the thing I kind of hate is the membrane that comes along with all of that pre slicing
  • that little stringy shit that comes off of it when you take out a slice sometimes
  • that shit is annoying as hell, especially when it gets stuck in your teeth & all
  • plus it doesn't even taste like the orange does
  • and idk I don't eat lemons lol so can't really say much about those
  • I dunno if anyone eats lemons
  • In my opinion they're gross
  • too acidic
  • especially when after you brush your teeth you eat an orange or drink orange juice and want to die
  • because it tastes so bad
  • but oranges are pretty sick
  • I never know how to start peeling one though, I just kinda peel off a bit then hope for the best
  • and I never really know what to do with the peels afterwards either because ik you can't eat them and I can't use them for anything else except maybe compost
  • I always feel like I see orange peels in the trahh or whatever
  • or in piles of garbage
  • and back to lemons, the most lemons do is maybe make water taste a little better
  • which it doesn't even, I think water with lemons in it tastes weird
  • but whatever because everyone just kinda does it anyways
  • but it is kinda cool when you see lemons on the sides of glasses of soda because it just looks classy
  • lemons are basically only good for tat though
  • oh and lemon juice used in cooking, which is nothing like real juice that you'd drink
  • but lemons aren't really useful fruits as far as my life is concerned
  • the only other thing I've seen them used for was
  • actually yeah no nothing
  • banana peels are the other thing I see a lot that I think of when I think of a giant heap of trash
  • just draped sorta over the trash, a banana peel or something
  • I think bananas taste like shit, no offense to them
  • but bananas also have the stringy shit of death inside of them, I know that cause i've seen people complain about them
  • and there are edible and inedible parts of bananas, like the brown part near where the skin culminates is tainted by satan's poison or something
  • terrible like that
  • I dunno
  • bananas also aren't even yellow, they're white on the inside
  • or at least
  • basically white
  • the skin's kind of cool though, as in how thick it is
  • and it's always cool seeing those guys take bananas down from their trees in huge huge bunches
  • but bananas are just not even close to my favorite fruit at all
  • maybe my least favorite
  • grapes are one of my favorites
  • even though they get bruised often kind of like apples do
  • apples get bruised so easily like if you were to flick and apple that shit would be bruised for life
  • same with grapes, even though grapes are considerable squishier
  • considerably*
  • but grapes are the shit at all times
  • they're wet enough to not be gross when it's hot out and not cold enough to give you internal hypothermia when it's cold out
  • which is always good
  • and they're juicy, like opening a tiny pouch of kool-aid and biting into it
  • which might be super stereotypical of a black person to say but oh well
  • my favorite grapes are the green ones
  • the purple ones sometimes come dried out idk
  • when I think of purple grapes I always think that they're drier or smaller, and sometimes they end up more bruised
  • just in my opinion
  • i'm sure they're both equal
  • but when I think of green grapes, I think of grapes
  • maybe that have just been taken out of the bowl after being washed
  • because I like my grapes a little bit wet when I eat them
  • so that it slides around a bit more in your mouth, isn't just dryness and then a bunch of liquid from the grape
  • but when I imagine green ones, the green ones are more perfect
  • also I like my grapes seedless
  • it's nasty to be spitting seeds everywhere while you're eating them unless you're like by yourself
  • seeds & pits kinda piss me off actually
  • because I feel likeI have to eat around them
  • I guess it's leftover annoyance from when we were in elementary school and they told us that a fucking tree would grow in our stomachs or some shit like that
  • and I'd be like hell no that's not happening to me ever
  • and so now whenever I encounter seeds or anything I avoid them like the plague, even though that shit doesn't really happen and I know it doesn't
  • especially when it comes to white seeds in oranges or the seeds near the core of the fruit if I bite in too deep
  • I always spit them out or get grossed out
  • the only seeds I like or can tolerate are the ones in kiwi and that's just barely or the ones in strawberries
  • that's one I forgot
  • friggin strawberries, man
  • strawberries are the shit
  • I dunno I just can't get enough of them
  • but I have serious problems with strawberries because they're always
  • messed up
  • bruised or moldy or something like that
  • misshapen or something
  • I have ocd when it comes to my fruits, they have to be near-perfect
  • and especially with something small like strawberries, it's hard to find like 20 good ones that I can just eat
  • consistently
  • so I generally avoid strawberries
  • although I do like when people cut up the perfect ones, refrigerate them, and feed me them little by little
  • they are really good, and I can't get enough of them, they're just super flawed
  • cherries are the other flawed fruit
  • firstly the ones my mom buys are fucking
  • full of seeds
  • or well usually they have two
  • but the seeds are basically the same size as the cherry itself
  • which is no fun
  • because I hate the damn seeds and I have to spit them out
  • especially when I see other people spitting them out, that shit makes me want to puke
  • but anyway cherries do taste really good
  • it'd just be really nice if they were bigger so then maybe the seeds wouldn't matter so much
  • also they're kind of messy
  • and the only other time I get them besides the rare occassions on which my mom buys them is in restaurants
  • not saying I miss cherries but they are good sometimes
  • and the dye kinda gets in the way
  • anyway then idk there's mangoes I wanted to close with them but I thought I'd be able to get in some other fruits too
  • ok so mangoes
  • mangoes are my favorites
  • but mangoes are kind of annoying because you have to peel the skin off and everything
  • and I never peel off the skin in a way that leaves a lot of fruit left
  • like I feel like when my mom doe it she's so much better at it than I am
  • but maybe that's cause she grew up in trinidad eating them but anyway it's super difficult for me to just take a knife, twirl the mango around and just peel off the skin
  • I always peel off the skin and like 30% of the fruit too
  • which is a struggle
  • and then I almost have no more to eat for myself or I feel that way
  • also mangoes have ths tringy stuff too
  • it's not like bananas or oranges but it's little yellow stringy stuff, which also gets caught in my teeth
  • which is super annoying
  • and mangoes know what's up when it comes to seeds anyway because they only have the huge one in the middle
  • although it makes it harder to cut through the whole fruit the tree does have to reproduce somehow
  • but I like when my mom buys the pre sliced mangoes from like trader joes or wawa or whole foods
  • out of the three of those whole foods is definitely the best
  • even though they have some bad quality mangoes there sometimes, if I get a tall tub of them I can sit and eat that entire thing my myself and have no problem with it
  • even though then my parents get mad and are like "nooo you have to share" even though they don't want any, they're just strict and don't want me eating that whole tub by myself
  • which is okay but I love mangoes
  • sometimes wawa mangoes are dried out
  • they're like scissorhands's fingers
  • and you can crunch into them
  • but they taste the best out of the three stores of mangoes
  • whereas you get to trader joes and those are the worst
  • soft and tasteless at the same time
  • it's actually gross especially when they're the only mangoes that mom brings home and I have to suffer through it
  • or wen they're bruised
  • when they're bruised I just don't eat them, that's too much
  • like I said, I hate bruised fruits
  • I believe that's an hour right there